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The Lahzee Blahs

I have a friend who mentioned her mom having the "lahzee blahs."  I had never before heard this saying and immediately related to it.  I would be lying if I told you the last three years have been easy.  They have been anything but.  But...(there is always a but) I still remain OK.  Am I as strong as I want to be?  No.  Am I as strong as I need to be?  No.  Lately, I have found myself in the same state as I was back in 2016.  I'm merely existing.  I think its OK to float around and just let life do what its going to do.  Ultimately, we don't have much say in its course.  But what we can do is simply remain.  During my moments of weakness, I have found that I can still be the shoulder that others need.  I can still be the ear that others need to vent to.  I can still be a help, even when it feels that no one is helping me.  Focus on the light!  I don't do this near enough.  But when I do, life is simply better.

In my "woe is me" moments, I still have so much good to hold on to.  My boyfriend and his child keep me wanting to go, keep me chugging along.  "Just keep swimming."  I used to tell others this same advice.  Sometimes we need to look in the mirror and just encourage ourselves.

I'm not always happy.  I'm not always OK.  Guess what?  ITS OK!  We're not made to be bubbly and lighthearted all the time.  Even Jesus wept.  Cry it out.  Yell it out.  PRAY it out.  Just know that you're not alone in this.  We all struggle.  And that is OK.


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